Let it Go (and I'm not referring to the song!)

I asked God for a word for 2018.  A word that would define the way I live and give me a high bar to aim for: something that would stretch me and grow me.  

He gave me two words.  One I believe is for my year.  The other is for this season but how long this season lasts I am unsure, but the lessons I have learned and am still learning will certainly follow me for the rest of my life.  

The first word for the whole of 2018 is FEARLESS.  I almost laughed and cried at the same time when God showed me that.  I asked for a specific confirmation and got it hence that's my theme for the year.  I will try and go into that topic some time - it has been quite interesting to see what God has put in my path to hurdle and heal from when I didn't want to, but it's a story for another day.

The other word is more of a theme as it is expressing itself in several ways and is applying itself in may different areas of my life at the moment.  It is the theme of old and new; of past and future; of letting go.  

For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace.

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).

This essentially sums up what God has been saying to me over and over again.  He keeps saying, "Let go of what can't stay!  I have plans and I've got this but you have to let go of those people and of those situations because I can't do what I want to do in you or in them if you refuse to let go."

Blah.

I don't really enjoy this whole learning thing.  Some of the stuff God is asking me to let go of involve people I love so much.  I have invested time and friendship into them but it's time for us all to go to the next level with God, and for me that means I can't control the game.  

And it is all about control.  No one enjoys being forced outside of their comfort zone.  There are some days when all I want is to go back.  I want those old relationships, old comforts, or old habits because they felt so good at the time.  But it would be pointless.  Like trying to put on old clothes, I simply wouldn't fit.  I've outgrown what was. 

But like a little kid, I do still grieve a little for that comfort.  Why?  Only because the growth I am going through now is uncomfortable.  Aren't humans so petty sometimes??  We so like being comfortable.  But nothing grows in comfort.  Anyone who knows anything about fitness knows that.  To be fit and to grow muscle strength there must be discomfort.  The muscles stretch and tear some but repair stronger than they were before.  As Hugh Jackman quipped in The Greatest Showman, "Comfort is the enemy of progress".

I love how God knows this and shows me that He understands, but also teaches me that I can't go back.  During an afternoon snooze recently, I had a dream about going back.  I dreamt that I went back to one of the houses I lived in as a little girl.  It is the house that I have the most memories of and the memories I carry from it are quite vivid although I was quite young at the time.  In my dream I went around the back of the house and knocked on the back door.  A strange lady answered and let me inside.  I walked around eagerly, looking for the rooms I had played in, the rooms where all the memories were.  But I was disappointed.  The house was under reconstruction and renovations.  Nothing looked the way I had remembered.  The rooms weren't in the same place and although the outside of the house was the same, the inside was very, very different.  

I knew what God was saying.  There are things in the past that have changed.  We don't fit those circumstances, those friendships, those positions anymore.  What we remember is not necessarily what is now.  Those places are not for us.  We have to let go and move on.  

One would think that the action of letting go would be the easiest - far easier than holding on.  I manage to drop a hundred things a day without even meaning to!  But it seems, I am finding, that it is so different spiritually.  New things cannot be picked up if old things are still in our hands.  

I believe God has new tools, new strategies, new co-labourers, new seasons, new methods, new stories for every single one of us.  They are fresh revelations for those who will take them, but so often we are hung up on what we haven't let go of, we don't realize what God is doing.  And we must stay up-to-date with the Holy Spirit!  New wine cannot be carried in old skins!  The new things that God is doing have to be accompanied by fresh energy and revelation from His people.  There is no point in trying to do the new thing with God if we are set on using old methods.  Those ways aren't bad, but they had their season of influence.  

It is the same in relationships.  God is currently telling me to let go and trust Him.  I don't want to.  I'm afraid of being lonely.  But some of these people are moving from dependence on others in their walk with God to learning to hear from God Himself.  They won't learn that if I'm hovering over their shoulder.  I have to let them go.  

It's a learning process and no doubt it is something I will deal with again and again in my life, but hopefully what I have learned so far will come to mind in those times.  I wish at times growth wasn't so necessary by it is primary school science that growth and reproduction is one of the basic signs and indicators of life.  Likewise, if we aren't growing or multiplying spiritually, we are dead.  

So in all this, if you happen to find yourself in a similar place, be encouraged.  The tight season of letting go does come to an end.  Immerse yourself in the Word of God - He knows and He comforts accordingly.  Also pray from new strength and know that you will come out stronger the other side.  Comfort is the enemy of progress.  No looking back.  

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His Presence, Her Heartbeat

I don’t have the words,

But God you hear my heartbeat.

Hold me near your heart, my King,

And allow my heart to beat with yours.

I recently read about a study in which several couples who were in love were put in a room by themselves - one couple at a time - and were closely monitored.  They were not to talk to each other.  They did not even touch each other.  They just sat there together.  They then did the same test with couples who were strangers to each other.  Again they were closely monitored.  What they found was that the couples that were in love synchronized their heart rhythms until their hearts beat in time with each other.What is more, the study showed that in nearly every case, it was the woman's heart beat that skipped along until it matched that of her man.  In the test in which the couples did not know their partner, however, there was no synchronization at all.

Bring me closer, bring me deeper,

Until I’m submerged in your grace.

Grace upon Grace, what is such loving kindness?

I cannot deserve such mercy

Still you lavish it on me and you raise me higher.

What if the Bride - the church of Jesus Christ - was so in love with her Groom, that just being in his presence made her heart skip until it beat in time with His?  What if we stopped straining so hard to hear his voice and just sat back in adoration and enjoyed being with Him?  Have you ever been there in that place?  You sit and you aren't asking anything from him, just whispering his name and telling him how wonderful he is.  The silence breeds intimacy and he will respond.  I have never felt so loved, or so treasured as in those moments when I am by myself in his presence just enjoying him.  Adoration grows.  The more you adore him, the more of himself he reveals to be adored, and he pours himself into you as you pour yourself into him.  That's when the synchronization happens.  In between and through the tender quiet whisperings of love, you start to sense and then to hear his heartbeat.  And it is the most terrifyingly beautiful thing you have ever heard.  Terrifying because it requires everything; beautiful because it gives a million times that amount back. 

Rags for Riches, filth for holiness,

Ashes for beauty, sin for righteousness.

As I continue this metamorphosis –

This becoming for look like You –

Take my heart and hold it in Your hands.

Your scars heal mine.  I am whole again.

How I long to just be in your presence, my God. 

To feel your arms around me and hear your heart beating.

Walk with me until I am fully Yours.

I believe Jesus is looking for the Church that is not so busy doing His works as she is to soak in His love and hear His words.  His presence will equip us for the doing, but we cannot do the doing without it.  We need to look like our Beloved one, else we are just another non-profitable organization.  Looking like Jesus has nothing to do with the outside appearance.  We don't have to be shiny and wear a halo (does Jesus wear a halo anyway???).  Looking like Jesus is expressing the love and tender mercy and compassion in a way that our community in today's age and today's time and today's culture will understand.   You will reflect the one you worship. 

As you are Holy, make me Holy.

As You expressed Love, make me love’s expression.

As You showed grace, allow me to show grace. 

Hear my heart, God, without words.

I have no words – just adoration. 

Be mine, Lord Jesus.  Be mine.

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Armour of God - Stand Firm

Welcome to the first post on the Armour of God!  I recently did some meditation on the Armour and - wow! - it came alive for me.  I aim to do a series of posts on Ephesians 6:10-18, and hopefully with not too much time in between each one! You probably know the passage well, but here it is again all the same.  :)

Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.

Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.  (Ephesians 6:10-18, NLT)

Now go back and read it again.

...and again...

I'm serious.  Read it again. 

Why?  The more you observe and take time over something, the more you get out of it, but that's another post, so go and read the passage again. 

If you have been dutiful, or just enthusiastic and understanding about the heart of this blog, you will have read the passage five times now.  What stands out to you initially?  (Please keep note of this - I would love to hear it in the comments!)

Now, bear with me.  Read the first paragraph again.  Please.  I put it in italics for your convenience.  :)

The first thing that is really important to remember is that there are two sides fighting against each other: the Kingdom of Heaven and the kingdom of darkness.  You belong to either one or the other, and there can be no alliances.  There is no third party: everything we know comes from wither the Kingdom of Heaven or the kingdom of darkness.  How can you tell?  "Every gift God freely gives us is good and perfect, streaming down from the Father of Lights, who shines from the heavens with no hidden shadow or darkness and is never subject to change."  (James 1:17 TPT)  Bad things do happen, but "...we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them."  (Rom. 8:28, NLT)  Just because God didn't send it, doesn't mean He can't use it.  He's God, after all!

When I recently went back over the Armour  of God, I was captured by the word stand.  It appears (in various forms of the word) three times in the whole passage.  I think this has significance in a couple of areas specifically. 

Taken from The Fencing Hindquarters

First of all, did you notice something about the armour in the five times that you just read it?  It only covers the front part of the body.  You have a breastplate, but no backplate.  In order to survive attacks from the enemy, you must - I repeat - MUST stand and face him.  Many people today run away, thinking that this is the way God wants them to live, by avoiding the enemy.

No.  Just, no.

When we run, two things happen.  1) The enemy has a direct target at our exposed backs.  Inevitably, we get shot.  2) We give ground to the enemy.  When we run, there is no one to defend our land, and the devil has free reign to our property, our inheritance. 

The second area of significance I would like to point out is the fact that we do stand.  We do not run, but neither do we charge.  This is so important.  Imagine for a moment, a soldier who is passionate about destroying his enemy.  He does not wait for orders, but charges - alone - willy-nilly at the defendants.  What chance does that soldier have of survival or effectiveness?  Not much, in my opinion. 

Here's the thing - we don't have to go looking for battles.  The enemy knows he is defeated, but he continues to kick and fight, trying to take down as many as he can as he falls.  Battles come.  Our passage from Ephesians implies this - it's a when, not if , kind of passage.  If we are busy fighting the battles we sought, we will be too exhausted  and tied up to fight the battles that will come our way.  The devil is not kind.  He won't look at your chosen battle and say, "Well, I can see _____ ( insert name) is very busy fighting that battle over there, so I'll hold this one back until she/he is ready for it."

That would be stupid.  And satan's not stupid.  He's not very creative, and he has no authority (Matt. 28:18), but he's not stupid either.  And, as I already said, he is not kind.  He will pounce for the kill if he can, so we have to be ready, focused and waiting for orders from our King, energized through the Holy Spirit. 

There is so much more I could say here, but I'm going to leave it there for now.  Please leave a comment and we'll see what we learn from each other.  Next time, we'll look at the Shield and the Sword. 

Bibliography:

The Fencing Hindquarters (2016) The evolution of the Roman Legion.  The Fencing Hindquarters.  Retrieved from http://mindhost.tumblr.com/post/125837024967/the-evolution-of-the-roman-legion (11 October, 2016) 

Scripture quotations marked TPT are taken from Hebrews and James: Faith Works, The Passion Translation, copyright 2014.  Used by permission of BroadStreet Publishing Group, LLC, Racine, Wisconsin, USA.  All rights reserved. 

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A Note on Bible Translations

Just thought I would clarify briefly on my choice of Bible translations.

I personally prefer more modern translations of the Bible as opposed to more traditional translations such as the King James Version or even the NKJV.  Of course I don't hold it against anyone who has preference to these versions of the Bible, but allow me to explain what versions I like to use and why.

I will be primarily using the New Living Translation, The Passion Translation, and on occasion, the English Standard Version.  I will specify the version I use for each reference, and will identify if I use another version other then these three I have mentioned above.

Picture from Amazon 2016

You have probably heard of the ESV, and possibly and NLV, but The Passion Translation - translated by Dr. Brian Simmons - is one that many people have not heard of, and understandably so, as it is so new that not all of it has been translated yet!  But please do not allow this to scare you off!  One of the reasons I prefer new translations to traditional versions is because the English language is constantly changing.  There are phrases in the KLJ that scholars today are not even sure the meaning of today because the words are so very 1611.  If we are so busy trying to just work out the English words and their meaning, how can we concentrate on what God is trying to teach us through the meanings underneath the text?  The Passion Translation Website says this about the way they aimed to translate the Bible:

While we’ve worked hard to express the original biblical languages in modern English, we believe there really is no such thing as a consistent word-for-word translation. Yes literal meaning matters, but the full meaning of a passage doesn’t transfer from word-to-word. Our translation philosophy is that the meaning of God’s original message to the world has priority over its exact form, which is why our goal is to communicate the meaning of Scripture as clearly and naturally as possible in modern English.

Brian and other reviewers have sought to remain faithful to the original biblical languages by preserving their literal meaning, yet flexible enough to convey God’s original message in a way modern English speakers can understand. It is a balanced translation that tries to hold both the Word’s literal meaning and original message in proper tension, resulting in an entirely new, fresh, fiery translation of God’s Word.  (Broadstreet Publishing Group 2015)

I have found (in my own devotional time) The Passion Translation to be incredibly beautiful and eloquently written in modern English, throwing new light on verses and passages I had not previously understood.  It has blessed my spiritual walk immensely and I hope it blesses your life as well.

Love and blessings to you and yours in Christ,

Broadstreet Publishing Group (2015)  FAQs. The Passion Translation.  Retrieved from http://www.thepassiontranslation.com/faqs/  (September 18, 2016)

Amazon (2016).  Retrieved from http://www.amazon.in/Passion-Translation-Set-7/dp/1424549612 (September 19, 2016)

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About Me and my Blog

Hello my friends!

Welcome to my blog - my personal little corner of the internet.

A few words about myself, so you know who you are talking to... :)

To describe me briefly, I am a homeschool graduate; the eldest of eight kids; a Lover of Jesus; student of ministry through Harvest Bible College; kids and youth ministry leader; singer and amateur actress through our local theatrical society.

My testimony really begins right from when I was born in February 1995.  Within six weeks of being born, I was diagnosed with a heart condition that disallowed much oxygen to be pumped around my body and when I was three months old, I underwent the first of two open heart surgeries.  I am amazed at God's grace to me from even these earliest days of being alive, because, quite frankly, the severity of my condition (in the natural) should have killed me before doctors found anything to be worried about.

I first asked Jesus into my heart when I was three years old, but only really made a commitment when I was about thirteen.  For years I revelled in this stand off relationship with God, too afraid of what might happen if I dared to step out into the life God had for me.  Thankfully, He saved me from this stale Christian life and is teaching me to trust Him more and to really follow Him.  Over the last year and a bit (written Sep. 17, 2016) I have had several prophecies and words of knowledge spoken over my life which have excited me terribly.  Until about September, 2015, I had planned to become a nurse, but knew God was calling me to lay down my ambitions and go into ministry instead.  I am close to starting my final semester for the first year of my bachelor degree and will finish in December 2018.

More recently, God has opened up new dimensions in my relationship with Him emphasising sacrifice and discipline in order to seek His heart.  I will probably cover much of this throughout posts, so I won't go into heaps of detail here and now, but it is so exciting to me, and I hope it stirs in your spirit as well as I share my journey with you.

You may be wondering about Heart Beat.  You may have 'met' me before through my other blog Amity.  Amity has been running for about three years, but I recently I have really felt that Amity was reflective of the old me and wanted to bring out the new person God is creating in a whole new blog.  I do hope to add to Amity still every once in a while as Heart Beat is not for the recordings of everyday life, but more for the writings of what God is teaching me - journalling if you will.

If you hadn't picked it up from what I've said already, I attend a Pentecostal church, and God has been teaching a lot through church and through my own time with Him about operating in the Holy Spirit.  I will might say things on Heart Beat that you will not always feel comfortable with or agree with.  Please keep in mind that I am learning too.  Feel free to leave a comment on anything, and I will answer you as best I can - I am always willing to learn from those around me, so be constructive and critical in your comments so we can all learn together!  I am hoping to have a few beautiful friends of mine write guest posts every now and again which I am sure will be encouraging and inspiring.

I named this blog Heart Beat because that is my ultimate desire - to learn the heart beat of God and to live and talk and act within its rhythms.  I want His heart beat to become my own so that my heart will break when His does, and I will learn to see the people and the world the way He does.

So as we walk this path together and seek the heart of God, be encouraged!  No one is alone - we are hear to sharpen each other and build each other up.

Thanks so much for stopping by - I hope your day is beautiful and glorious in the love of our Jesus!

Much love in Him,

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