Let it Go (and I'm not referring to the song!)

I asked God for a word for 2018.  A word that would define the way I live and give me a high bar to aim for: something that would stretch me and grow me.  

He gave me two words.  One I believe is for my year.  The other is for this season but how long this season lasts I am unsure, but the lessons I have learned and am still learning will certainly follow me for the rest of my life.  

The first word for the whole of 2018 is FEARLESS.  I almost laughed and cried at the same time when God showed me that.  I asked for a specific confirmation and got it hence that's my theme for the year.  I will try and go into that topic some time - it has been quite interesting to see what God has put in my path to hurdle and heal from when I didn't want to, but it's a story for another day.

The other word is more of a theme as it is expressing itself in several ways and is applying itself in may different areas of my life at the moment.  It is the theme of old and new; of past and future; of letting go.  

For everything there is a season,
    a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
    A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal.
    A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh.
    A time to grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
    A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
A time to search and a time to quit searching.
    A time to keep and a time to throw away.
A time to tear and a time to mend.
    A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
A time to love and a time to hate.
    A time for war and a time for peace.

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8).

This essentially sums up what God has been saying to me over and over again.  He keeps saying, "Let go of what can't stay!  I have plans and I've got this but you have to let go of those people and of those situations because I can't do what I want to do in you or in them if you refuse to let go."

Blah.

I don't really enjoy this whole learning thing.  Some of the stuff God is asking me to let go of involve people I love so much.  I have invested time and friendship into them but it's time for us all to go to the next level with God, and for me that means I can't control the game.  

And it is all about control.  No one enjoys being forced outside of their comfort zone.  There are some days when all I want is to go back.  I want those old relationships, old comforts, or old habits because they felt so good at the time.  But it would be pointless.  Like trying to put on old clothes, I simply wouldn't fit.  I've outgrown what was. 

But like a little kid, I do still grieve a little for that comfort.  Why?  Only because the growth I am going through now is uncomfortable.  Aren't humans so petty sometimes??  We so like being comfortable.  But nothing grows in comfort.  Anyone who knows anything about fitness knows that.  To be fit and to grow muscle strength there must be discomfort.  The muscles stretch and tear some but repair stronger than they were before.  As Hugh Jackman quipped in The Greatest Showman, "Comfort is the enemy of progress".

I love how God knows this and shows me that He understands, but also teaches me that I can't go back.  During an afternoon snooze recently, I had a dream about going back.  I dreamt that I went back to one of the houses I lived in as a little girl.  It is the house that I have the most memories of and the memories I carry from it are quite vivid although I was quite young at the time.  In my dream I went around the back of the house and knocked on the back door.  A strange lady answered and let me inside.  I walked around eagerly, looking for the rooms I had played in, the rooms where all the memories were.  But I was disappointed.  The house was under reconstruction and renovations.  Nothing looked the way I had remembered.  The rooms weren't in the same place and although the outside of the house was the same, the inside was very, very different.  

I knew what God was saying.  There are things in the past that have changed.  We don't fit those circumstances, those friendships, those positions anymore.  What we remember is not necessarily what is now.  Those places are not for us.  We have to let go and move on.  

One would think that the action of letting go would be the easiest - far easier than holding on.  I manage to drop a hundred things a day without even meaning to!  But it seems, I am finding, that it is so different spiritually.  New things cannot be picked up if old things are still in our hands.  

I believe God has new tools, new strategies, new co-labourers, new seasons, new methods, new stories for every single one of us.  They are fresh revelations for those who will take them, but so often we are hung up on what we haven't let go of, we don't realize what God is doing.  And we must stay up-to-date with the Holy Spirit!  New wine cannot be carried in old skins!  The new things that God is doing have to be accompanied by fresh energy and revelation from His people.  There is no point in trying to do the new thing with God if we are set on using old methods.  Those ways aren't bad, but they had their season of influence.  

It is the same in relationships.  God is currently telling me to let go and trust Him.  I don't want to.  I'm afraid of being lonely.  But some of these people are moving from dependence on others in their walk with God to learning to hear from God Himself.  They won't learn that if I'm hovering over their shoulder.  I have to let them go.  

It's a learning process and no doubt it is something I will deal with again and again in my life, but hopefully what I have learned so far will come to mind in those times.  I wish at times growth wasn't so necessary by it is primary school science that growth and reproduction is one of the basic signs and indicators of life.  Likewise, if we aren't growing or multiplying spiritually, we are dead.  

So in all this, if you happen to find yourself in a similar place, be encouraged.  The tight season of letting go does come to an end.  Immerse yourself in the Word of God - He knows and He comforts accordingly.  Also pray from new strength and know that you will come out stronger the other side.  Comfort is the enemy of progress.  No looking back.  

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